dating

i've never dated before. i mean, i've gone out to dinner occasionally, and i've had some random meet and greets, but the majority of my relationship life has been with people i know or i work with. but, after a fiasco to end all fiascoes with my latest work related "boyfriend" (very loosely applied term), i vowed not to date at work ever again.

fast forward nine freaking months, and here i am. i'm a single mom who works nights. contrary to popular belief, my sons school playground is not a hotbed of single pick-up action. therefore, i literally meet no one new. so what do i do? what do i, an attractive yet complicated modern woman do? yeah, you guessed it, internet dating. oh joy, oh fun, look at all these men, where should i start? should i start with the guy who after three emails and one phone conversation comes in to my work to meet, asking everyone in both restaurants where i am? or the guy who, after repeated emails, comes over to meet me and says how he believes in honesty and should tell me he's married (evidently honesty doesn't go so far as to actually say that in the previous 10 emails he's sent me) but his wife is a bisexual who plays away and he thinks he should be able to too. or the guy who so obviously sent me a picture from 10 years ago so i wouldn't think he was balding and totally grey (cute though, i have to say, but i married an older man and have always dated older men, and they just can't keep up with me anymore.) it is disheartening. but, i have found a couple here and there who were all right.

i got a picture from a guy and he was playing in a band. looked cool, sounded cool, so we went out. turns out he's a mathematician and college professor but also in a really great band. i'm liking him. the whole two worlds coming together really turns me on. there's another guy who i like but who insists that he just wants something casual. i don't believe him, he's the marrying kind. i'm not. the marrying kind that is. it's gonna take some kind of knight in shining armor to knock me out to get me to go there again. and no, fair people, it's not because i'm bitter. it's because i do my whole life really well all by myself. and i have a kid. so, i'm not going to let someone in here who only kinda measures up. it's all or nothing baby, and i'm great with that. i'll have my fun, my dates, my sex, my FWB, but only a god among men is gonna end up here everyday in my life and my son's life. but if you're out there though, G.A.M., you can sneak up behind me and knock me over the head anytime you want.